Sometimes you gotta be cruel to be kind. That’s a saying that for a long time I didn’t understand. It has started to make a lot of sense to me and is a saying that has come into my mind increasingly more often as of late. It is sometimes one of those necessary evils. Sometimes it has to happen in order to prevent so much more damage in the future. It isn’t easy to be honest when you know someone else is going to hurt because of it, but like I said, it is necessary. It doesn’t make you a bad person, no matter how low you feel when you do it. And I think “cruel” is such a harsh word. I know it feels that way to the other person you are speaking to or when someone tells you something that hurts, but it’s because of love that you say and do the things that you do, the right thing and sometimes the only thing to do. It’s because of care for another’s heart that you want to protect it, even if that means it is protecting it from you, from themselves, from a situation, or whatever the case may be.
It’s hard to accept the things we cannot change even though all we want in the world is to change them. It’s hard when things are out of your control and all you can do is sit and watch, and wait. Hoping beyond hope that it will work out the way you’ve been wishing it would. Chances are, it won’t. I am not being a pessimist here either. I am being a realist. It’s unfortunate, I never used to believe that way. Life has shown me though that while it’s wonderful to have hope, it’s irresponsible to be blind and ignore what is staring you in the face. There are some truths that just won’t go away no matter how hard you try to ignore them. Sometimes it is accepting other people’s truths that are the hardest thing. Because you see things differently than they do Some people can’t accept your truths for the same reason. But again, it’s about acceptance. You can’t will it to rain and you can’t talk someone into believing or seeing what you do. Either they do or they don’t. And it’ll kill you inside trying to change someone’s mind. There isn’t one phrase or one moment that will make anyone think “aha! I’ve been wrong this whole time and so-and-so has been right. I’ve been so blind.” You see it in the movies and you read about it in books, but it doesn’t exist. Either it is or it isn’t. I am sure I sound quite harsh right now, but the world can be a harsh place.
So what do you do when faced with this type of situation? Well, you accept it. Love the person or hate them, whatever you feel is best for you, but accept it and don’t try to change it because you can’t. It takes a lot of courage for someone to be honest is when they know it could hurt you, especially if they care about you. It’s been hard for me to see and understand that in the past when people have had to be that way with me. But personal growth is helping me understand things and helping me see things not only from my perspective. It can actually be very hard sometimes not to be selfish and only think about what I want with no regard for what the other person wants. We are selfish beings by nature. The amount of conversations I have had with friends where we will laugh and all at different times say “yknow because the entire world revolves around me” is ridiculous. It’s funny because we are at that age where we see it now and we kind of blush and giggle about it but are aware of it.
Another thing I’ve learned about this is that in this type of scenario, everyone hurts in one way or another. The depth of the hurt may be different, but it is there all the same.