Everything happens for a reason. So many of us say that and we truly believe it. I know that I do. How do you deal though when you don’t understand why something happened? When at the end of the day, you can’t figure out what lesson you were supposed to learn. That is where it gets really hard.
So many of us are concerned with the why. I know that I am. I always want, no… NEED to know. I feel like if I understand every facet of an issue that it will make sense to me. And sometimes it does work out and I know all and I feel all great and get it and life goes on. Other times, I search for the answers, within myself and within others, but never understand. Sometimes, and this is VERY rare, I get every answer I could ever want handed to me on a silver platter. And guess what? It doesn’t make sense. I still don’t understand. But maybe it isn’t my place to understand. Maybe one day in 15 years I will wake up and have that “Aha!” moment everyone wants to have and it will all click. I doubt that, of course, but hey, it’s worth a shot.
What if the lesson isn’t yours to learn though? What if their presence in your life isn’t actually about you at all, but about them and their spiritual evolution? *GASP!* You mean the world doesn’t revolve around me?! I know, such a sad realization, and one I find that everyone should remind themselves of often. It is very easy to get caught up in your own head and we are all guilty of it. That’s part of my mid-year resolution – to not be so self-absorbed (she says as she writes a blog filled with I-messages). If your purpose is to help someone learn something about themselves, then not understanding or knowing the answers makes complete sense. Does it suck sometimes? Hell yeah. (This is where that whole acceptance thing comes in)
Sometimes people come into your life and their mere presence brightens your day. And when they leave it, you’re okay because you are grateful that for that short period they made you laugh and smile, created a warmth in your heart, a lightness in your chest. This isn’t just about a relationship with your boyfriend or girlfriend either, but friends, family, that hilarious mailperson that would have a new joke for you every time you saw them, or your doctor that shows you his new app he got on his iPhone whenever you see him and requests in his thick South African accent that your homework is to bring him a new app. I digress, but it made me smile and whenever I get a new app I think of my doctor and how I have to show him how cool it is.
Cherish every moment that you have with these people because you never know when life is going to intervene and let you know that the party is over and your time with them has come to an end. Sometimes you get lucky, and you get to keep these people in your life. They stay on as friends or grow into more, friends become your family and family becomes your friends and when that happens you are truly blessed because it doesn’t happen to everyone. I am blessed with an amazing family and incredible friends who accept me completely for who I am and who I am not. I wish that everyone could be so lucky.
“What is REAL?” asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. “Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?”
“Real isn’t how you are made,” said the Skin Horse. “It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.”
“Does it hurt?” asked the Rabbit. “Sometimes,” said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. “When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt.”
“Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,” he asked, “or bit by bit?”
“It doesn’t happen all at once,” said the Skin Horse. “You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”
– “The Velveteen Rabbit” by Margery Williams
Maybe sometimes the lesson or reason why someone is brought into your life is quite simple. Maybe every relationship or every encounter you have doesn’t have to be a huge lesson. Maybe the point is for you to laugh and smile, just let go for a while of the shackles of your worries that swim in your mind. Perhaps it is in them that for a brief moment you get your freedom, your moment to just be.