We all wear masks at different times in our life. Sometimes it is to protect ourselves and sometimes it is to protect others. It is important that we don’t lose sight of where the mask ends and we begin. You get used to wearing it if you do it often enough and sometimes you forget that the person you are pretending to be isn’t really you. The mask is at times essential for one’s own survival. To be seen without it can leave you too open and vulnerable. I prefer a person that doesn’t like my masks and adores my flaws no matter how ridiculous they may be. I love people who can embraces me for everything I am and everything I am not and never will be. And I love that it is okay for me not be perfect, for me to be fatally flawed in some respects. It is exhausting to constantly put on a façade and I’m amazed at the people that can keep it up for as long as they do. Sometimes when I retreat into myself, it’s simply because I don’t have the energy to put the mask on anymore.
Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth. – Oscar Wilde
Sometimes when I write in my journal, when I need to be brutally honest but can’t because I am scared it will make me sound weak or overly dramatic, I say “she”, and the words flow a lot easier. It can be really difficult to write about yourself and your feelings honestly so the quote from Oscar Wilde rings very true for me, and I would think for many of you.
I am working on my mask. I want to limit the amount that I wear it and not feel so world weary.
I’ve noticed that I write the most when I am feeling contemplative or down. It isn’t that I’m never happy because I am a lot, but I relate to this feeling better and it is in my times of struggle that I find my voice. When I am going through a change of some sort or my heart is shifting or I’m learning a lesson, that is when I write.