I am realizing that life is so short, too short to let past hang-ups inhibit my future. I may have said this before, I’m not really sure, but I don’t do a lot of things that I want to do in life because I am scared. I worry about what people will think of me if I do something, even if it’s what I really want to do. And that fear can be crippling at times. I have spent more than half of my life being scared and I don’t want to be that girl anymore. I want to be carefree and have the freedom internally that the young me always craved and for some reason thought that I would magically have once I became an “adult” at 18. I don’t think I really became an adult until 25 or 26. It has been in the last two years where I think I have grown the most. There’s space for more growth and I know that how I feel today is different than how I will feel tomorrow.
I don’t want to look back on my life and think of all of the times I was too scared to do something and may have missed a great opportunity. It’s time for me to say goodbye to that scared little girl and just be myself. I only get one chance in this life and I want to make the most of it. It will mean I fall down, a Hell of a lot more than I have ever let myself, but I will live without regrets, and I will let go of the things I have been holding onto as an excuse to hold me back.
“What we call our destiny is truly our character and that character can be altered. The knowledge that we are responsible for our actions and attitudes does not need to be discouraging, because it also means that we are free to change this destiny. One is not in bondage to the past, which has shaped our feelings, to race, inheritance, background. All this can be altered if we have the courage to examine how it formed us. We can alter the chemistry provided we have the courage to dissect the elements.”
— Anaïs Nin